User avatarCrazy Religos: The Jesus Disco

There was a time, quite a while ago that Ian (or possibly John) used to find/accumulate/aquire bizzare religious pamphlets. For some reason they decided that I should be the recipient of these. I still have two of them. This is the first one, which was given the forboding title of ‘Afraid of being left behind?’.

Inside is a work of genius. I mean a twisted genius, but one nonetheless.

They pitch the afterlife as a choice between a ‘massive party’ (heaven obvs.) with ‘wonderful entertainment, an abundance of food and exclusive location [sic]’ and being tattooed on the forehead by a jealous Devil who isn’t invited and knows ‘it’s going to be so much better than any party he could ever throw’. Which is possibly true, just look at thoses sexy angels grooving away!

Aside from the ridiculous notion that if you don’t choose to go to Jesus’ party you’ll be forcibly tattooed and clapped in irons, the leaflet is actually petitioning you to hand out party invites. Not join the faith or help your fellow man. Nope. Hand out party invites.

It even goes on to point out that the Devil is going to “appear on the world stage and solve a lot of the worlds problems”. Not only that, but they also expect the Antichrist to ‘bring a time of great trouble’ to people who do want to go to the party, but that apparently translates to the need for you to hand out more party invites.

Nutters.

Click to embiggen.

16 comments to Crazy Religos: The Jesus Disco

  • “To learn what the Bible says about all this and more, contact us!”

    No, mate. The Bible doesn’t say anything about this. This is bobbins.

  • Ian

    I believe it may have been myself who acquired this literature. I do remember the picture of ‘Cool Jesus’ in his laid-back clothing being all friendly and encouraging the youngsters to join his cult, I mean religion.

  • Is it just me or does the party look awful? I don’t want to spend eternity in a massive dancehall full of smug pricks. If heaven isn’t a nice quiet room with a supply of high quality teabags and a solid internet connection then I’m not sure I want to be a part of it.

  • Ian

    Is that what your idea of heaven is? Serenity, Tea and wi-fi?

  • Ian

    What about snifters?

  • Kev

    I mean the party could be fun for an hour or so, but then I’d get tired and could also go for a quite cuppa and some wifi. It’d need a quality selection of biscuits mind.

  • Kev

    *** Email notification test please ignore this. (I know you wont) ***

  • *** Why would anyone want email notifications? ***

  • Ian

    *** This does not count as Kev actually commenting on any of our posts ***

  • Kev

    *** You’ve always had email notifications, they’ve just been broken for quite some time. Which possibly means you haven’t always had email notifications. Is a broken email notification still an email notification? Whatever ***

  • Ian

    *** If you mean email notifications in that I get an email to say that one of you two has commented on some Beans posts then yes, I still get these. If something else I don’t know what you’re getting at, Joben ***

  • Kev

    *** You definitely haven’t been getting them, because I’ve been getting bounce back emails from your email account for about 3 months. ***

    *** guy***p*p@hotmail.c*****: host
    hotmail-com.olc.protection.outlook.com[104.47.55.161] said: 550 5.7.1
    Unfortunately, messages from [188.65.116.98] weren’t sent. Please contact
    your Internet service provider since part of their network is on our block
    list (S3140). You can also refer your provider to
    http://mail.live.com/mail/troubleshooting.aspx#errors.
    [BN8NAM12FT042.eop-nam12.prod.protection.outlook.com] (in reply to MAIL
    FROM command)
    ***

  • *** You’re right, I do get email notifications. I just found them all. About 5 years ago I set up a rule that marks them as read and dumps them into a folder that I never look at. Can I turn them off? ***

    *** Also, can you upgrade the php version on the web server so the error message in the admin interface goes away? If we’re still on TSO Host you can literally just change a menu option in the cloud control panel. ***

  • Kev

    *** I can turn them off, do you both want them gone? It appears to be a global setting ***

    *** PHP has been suitably poked and is now fresh and new. ***

  • *** I think email notifications are stupid and I wish death upon them. ***

    *** Hooray and thank you! ***

    *** Pipe mesa. ***

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