Avatar Minutes from a Meeting

Meeting held on the evening of Monday 6 February.

Those present: Kevin Hill, Christopher Marshall and Ian McIver.

It was decided that the British Mash Council (or BMC) would be formally appointed in lieu of the existence of one.

Kevin Hill (KH) decided that Chris Marshall (CM) would be in charge of historical preservation of mash, historical important of mash and everything associated with these. KH also decided that Ian McIver (IM) would be in charge of croquettes.

KH said that CM should go to London, given that he is the closest geographically, to ask for money from either the PM or the Treasury to fund the BMC. CM offered no resistance to this and seemed on board with the idea.

IM then announced that all the money should be “poured into croquettes”. General acceptance all round although KH specified that some of the budget should be kept back for other projects.

CM asked about whether recipes that incorporate mash but were not mash-centric should be focused on. KH decided that it would involve too many other governmental departments and thus only primary mash food should be championed. CM mentioned classic mash dishes such as ‘Bubble and Squeak’ and ‘Colcannon’. KH misheard the latter and asked what a dove cannon was.

CM asked about the museum that was being discussed and whether it should include statues of celebrities made out of mash. All members were in favour. In addition to Winston Churchill and his glorious beard of mash, the following other people were mentioned: Paddy Mashdown (CM), Richard Mashcroft (CM), Mashley Cole (IM), Mike Mashley (KH) and Jayne Middlemiss (IM). Costs and expenses not discussed. Also possible crossover event with Mash vs The Evil Dead (even though it was cancelled after three seasons).

Dove cannons are to be used at all mash events except ones in small rooms where firing doves into the walls will end with calamity and death.

Mashvertising is to be brought back in full force. The importance of mash needs to be re-introduced back into the homes of Great Britain after being in abeyance for so long. IM asked what the thoughts were of seminal kids’ programme ‘Bodger and Badger’, unanimous approval from all members. It was then motioned that they would be used in the mashvertising promotions… until it was discovered that the actor who played Bodger had sadly passed away in 2017. A new face will need to be sought and daughter of Bodger (“Bodge daught”) may be a prospect. To be discussed at a future meeting.

General mash talk occurred for several minutes.

Next meeting was agreed for Thursday 16 March.

9 comments on “Minutes from a Meeting

  • I fully remember this meeting because I was at it, which proves that the British Mash Council is a legitimate organisation.

    I haven’t spoken to Rishi or the Treasury yet but I’ll text them about it later.

  • Rishi texted back to say he only uses WhatsApp now. I re-sent it with WhatsApp but it’s still on grey ticks. Jeremy Hunt has apparently got a new Samsung and changed his number.

  • I got out the Big Man guns but MI5 took them off me. Now I’m not allowed near Downing Street any more. Rishi declined my Facebook friend request and Jeremy says he can’t accept my TikTok invite for security reasons.

  • Slags. Lies. Lies and slags. This is why the country is going downhill.

    If they’re not going to take mash seriously then we’ll need the support of the people. We need to take it to the streets, gentlemen.

  • A mash uprising? Mash riots? Overthrowing the government in the name of mash? The British Mash Council at the head of a single-party state dictatorship? I’m in. That’s a world I want to live in.

  • We could detain all our political prisoners by burying them up to their waist in under-moistened mash, while they undergo re-education.

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