Here at Newsboost we have been granted exclusive access to Kevin’s new kitchen worktop and, in my humble opinion, especially one which knows sod all about quartz, it’s a bit of a something special.
We were also granted an exclusive interview with the man himself.
News berk: So what do you think?
Kevin: I think it’s the most wonderful thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Ian had to loan me some of his spare eyes so I could gaze at the glaze a little bit more.
News berk: After all the time you spent getting it right, was it worth it?
Kevin: Absolutely. 105 days it may have taken, I may have lost most of my hair and destroyed the neighbouring village in my frustrations but it’s over now.
News berk: What do you intend to use the kitchen worktop for first? What’s top o’ the worktop to-do list top?
Kevin: I’m going to lay out a chaise lounge of cheeses for the kids and some very sensual cakes for me and the wife. It’s going to be a great night.
News berk: What advice would you give to any other aspiring kitchen worktop enthusiasts out there?
Kevin: Don’t do it.
9 comments on “Newsboost – Hill Ham Hurrah”
I have to say, while it might be difficult to balance things on top for the purpose of food preparation, that ham worktop does look absolutely delicious. I’d wait four months for that too.
If I could have that ham worktop then I don’t think I’d bother going to work for a few days. It would have ALL my greasy attention.
Yes. No need to go shopping when you can just yum up chunks of your kitchen at mealtimes. I’d just sling a couple of handfuls of chips onto it and dig in.
It’s as if you read my mind…
I did. In fact I think I left a bookmark in your mind. Sorry about that.
I think you confused quartz with ham. It’s easily done, that was the cause of the return of the first three worktops in fact.
Your bookmark is made of cherries, how luxurious! It’s quite alright.
No no, it’s a real thing, roseham quartz. Look it up, sonny.
On another subject, a programme where all the interviews are conducted by someone called News Berk is a programme I’d watch.
Coming this Summer, the long-awaited sequel to Newsboost: Newsberk!
If we can’t get Michael Buerk to do it then we’ll have to settle for you in a wig.