Avatar Newsboost – Mash gets a helping hand

Breaking news!

The push for mash has reached a new level of excitement today as Aston Villa football club announced that mash would be their new sponsor for the 2023/24 season.

Current sponsor BK8 were left “baffled” at the prospect of being dropped for a popular potato-based food product. It seems as though despite their initial talks to continue for the next three years, Aston Villa manager Unai Emery decided to opt for the underdog after revealing he has a fondness for mash in a recent interview earlier this year.

In the January 2023 edition of GQ magazine, Mr Emery said, “I love it, I love the taste and the texture, the different ways you can season and flavour it, the way it looks on your plate after a hard day’s training, the fact that you can shape it into anything you want. It is such a versatile thing that I insist on mash at least three or four times a week and my wife knows that if I have had a difficult day then mash is the one thing that will bring a smile to my face.”

The British Mash Council (BMC) had this to say about the recent development.

“I am not surprised in the slightest,” said head council member Kevin Hill, “mash has always been popular but it’s time to step it up to the next level. Knowing that every week the good word of mash will be seen on millions of TV sets, seen my millions of eyes, brings joy to all of our hearts.  Mr Emery has also expressed an interest in serving mash at the home games and who are we to argue with someone with great taste?”

When asked about the rumours of changing the team’s name to Mashton Villa, both Unai Emery and the British Mash Council responded with a firm, “no comment.” Only time will tell if further changes are afoot for this historic moment in football and mash history.

9 comments on “Newsboost – Mash gets a helping hand

  • This is excellent news. Can you confirm how mash will appear on the new Aston Villa strip? Will it be the full British Mash Council logo, or their catchy marketing slogan “why not have some mash today”? Or maybe just the word MASH.

  • It will be the same colours only around the numbers of the players will be an energetic, cartoonish splodge of mash in the background. The British Mash Council logo will appear on the front with the slogan on the back of the shirts at the bottom.

  • Excellent. Another step on the road to world mash domination. Hopefully next year’s strip will go a bit further and will actually be made of mash. What better to keep the players warm on a cold winter’s afternoon?

  • If we did that then the game would have to keep being paused due to the players eating their clothes. They wouldn’t be able to help themselves, the little terrors.

  • It’s not the players eating their own clothes that bothers me. It’s the players on the opposing team attacking them to eat their clothes. It would be like a Roman orgy, but with mash and a referee.

  • That’s a good point. The crowds may join in too. Thousands of supporters legging it across the field in the hope of a good gob of mash.

    It’ll be chaos squared.

  • Chaos, yes, and the end of major league football as we know it. But it will also be a red letter day for mash, a turning point in the way the nation sees this humble potato preparation. And I for one am more than happy to sacrifice football on the mashy altar.

  • As will the splattering banging of spoons into the big bowls of mash that every member of the council has in front of them at every meeting.

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