User avatarNewsboost – Prevenient Pizza Parlour Perfection

There was cause for celebrations today as it was announced that the first early morning takeaway pizza restaurant will be opening before the end of the month.

‘Pizzas, Pizzas and more Pizzas’ has several branches in the North Wales area, and a new store will be opening just over the border in Chester where the hours will be strictly between 4:00am and 12:00pm. We spoke to the owner, Giovanni DeSouda, about his ideas for a bold new future.

“Pizza is considered to be an evening meal, or at best an indulgence over the lunchtime period. Why can’t you have it any earlier? Who says that pizza must remain outside of breakfast? My top chefs have been working on several recipes to cater for all tastes. What we will be looking at as the expected favourites are the standard all day breakfast, the shreddies and rice crispy delight and the breakfast bar bouquet. As well as this, there will be a mix and match system for those who like to start from scratch, or those with particular tastes.

We are aware that there may still be some takeaways open at the time we will be opening, however they will not be able to offer the kinds of pizzas that we will be making. It is a bit of a risk however based on the figures we have, I believe that we can make it a success!”

The new store will open with a fun-filled family day, beginning at 5:00am with a sack race following by face-painting at 5:30am and ending with a pizza-eating completion around 7:00am.

Reports indicate that most residents in the area will not be attending.


22 comments to Newsboost – Prevenient Pizza Parlour Perfection

  • I would like to indicate that I am both not in the area and also not attending.

  • If you were in the area though, would you attend? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you eat a pizza before.

  • I’m not sure anyone’s ever seen me eat a pizza. It’s happened, I know I’ve eaten them, but I’m not sure anyone can actually witness it. Technically, me eating a pizza is a quantum event. The pizza is both eaten and not eaten simultaneously without ever passing through the intermediate stage of eating.

  • I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you eat a pizza. I’ve racked my brains for occasions where it may have happened but I can’t surface a memory.

    I do remember the time we went shopping and only bought things that began with the letter B though.

  • That was a great day. Our B-based shopping list was immortalised on the Beans, of course.

    I don’t know if you’ve ever seen me eat a pizza. I do know that you once saw me not eat a pizza shortly before I was violently ill.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    I think the only thing you can do then is upload a video of you eating a pizza as though it is the first time you’ve ever done it.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Or a seven second slow motion video of your violently chewing a pizza #Rachelstevensdream

  • I think this is a challenge to which I can rise.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    This makes me giddy like a young scientist in a haz mat suit for the first time.

  • Steady on now. Are you actually wearing a haz mat suit?

  • I may have actually filmed the requested video last night, but I currently can’t find the wire that would get it off my camera and onto my computer.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    You mean an mmmm bop bobbit lead?

  • Yes. That’s exactly what I need. Have you got it? Why have you got my vital mmmm bop bobbit lead?

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    I have. I hopped onto a train last night and while you were buggering about in Bournemouth I stole all of your equipment. ALL of it.

    I will send it back shortly.

  • This is entirely unacceptable. I do not accept it. I will, however, accept the return of my crucial mmmm bop bobbit lead. Hasten its return to my loving embrace, sir.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Sure. I’ll post it back to Royskopp or wherever it is that you live now. In a flat above a cake.

  • That’s my address in full, yes. Just send it there.

  • It almost sounds like an address where the Mr Men would live. Are you a Mr Man?

  • No. But I’m pretty sure Kev Head is a Mr Man. Let’s check the facts: his real name is “Mr Chang” and I’ve read a Mr Man book about him.

  • It’s true. My arms come out of my head and everything. (A bit like Beaver Ian actually)

  • Are you naked apart from a hat and a pair of remarkably detailed shoes?

  • I think you may have crossed a line there, Chris.

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