Avatar Spread the Word

From the recent statistical analysis, and customer satisfaction questionnaire, carried out earlier on this year it is quite clear that the average number of visitors to the Beans on a weekly basis has reached it’s highest numbers since the ‘zorse years’. It is estimated that approximately six people, including Kev, come to read and sometimes share their thoughts with the Beans collective. Now I’ve never been known to shunt a positive acumen up the ajax but with winter fast approaching and nobody having suggested any zany ideas for a while I feel we need to double or possibly triple those numbers in order to justify the size of Chris’ dance studio and Kevin’s virtual poodle bar.

Having briefly glanced through a list of possible ideas with which to boost the visitors to the site, it has been decided that I should venture forth to the small village of Ivalo in Finland in the hope to gaining their sponsorship and their patronage.


Ivalo is a village in dense region of Inari, Lapland. It currently has a population of just less than four thousand and, as of 2003, includes the benefit of a small airport. It is this very airport I am hoping to fly to in order to encourage the mayor of Ivalo to seal a deal in a wigwam and have hundreds of Finnish tourists knock knock knocking at the doors of the Beans. All I will need is a small contribution from the kitty and I’ll be on my way. 

I’ll meet you in the first class lounge on C deck.


8 comments on “Spread the Word

  • How dense is this region?

    I’m concerned that if it’s very dense you might be crushed by the force of pressure.

  • I’ve always known areas abroad, particularly in places I’ve never been to, to be dense. It may be that that specific section of the world is, you know, thick but I wouldn’t want to make assumptions just yet…

  • It’s quite possibly thick. It’s just the idea of denseness that I’m struggling with. I might even be willing to concede that it’s “solid”.

  • You concede far too easily. If you give me the “ready ready dough ray me chinola flatbreads” then I can go there and do things, and then come back and tell you.

  • I’m happy for you to go there but as joint trustee of the Pouring Beans bank account I won’t be signing my name to release so much as a single groat for this jaunt.

  • That’s a little unfair. Think of the tourists, of the exposure, of the wealth we will acquire because of my selfless act. You can’t put a price on my face.

  • There’s a rather large spot on the my face. In fact there’s two of them.

    Dear Lord, does everyone have these?!?

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