When it comes to video games I am equally attracted to both the box art and the title itself. ‘Void Bastards’ immediately jumped on my radar when I was reading about it last year and recently I managed to pick it up in the sale for the reasonable cost of twenty sheets.
It’s available on Nintendo Switch (where I’ve been playing it), XBox One, PS4 and Steam so just about anyone can get their sweaty paws on it.
You play as one of an infinite supply of dehydrated prisoners who is brought back to life because the spaceship is on the fritz, stranded and floating in space. Your task is to use your widdle wocket to fly to derelict vessels in the area, steal everything that isn’t nailed down, hopefully find some useful item that you can use to smush together with something else to make a better item and, eventually, fly the fuck out of there.
Played from a first-person perspective, as you infiltrate the various spaceships you encounter enemies and other environmental hazards such as radiation, fire and oil which makes you slip everywhere. Sometimes the generator is down so you have to turn the electricity back on before you can start sniffing around for junk. Sometimes the lights are off and you have to peer through the darkness hoping not to trip any alarms. Each vessel is randomly generated, using the same series of rooms mixed up each time, so whilst it can be repetitive you can never guarantee what you will get every time.
Movement is responsive and fluid. The graphics are cartoony, cell-shaded and fits the feel of the game perfectly. Progression is measured by certain milestones broken down into smaller achievements such as making weapons, armour and other items. You need to keep your supplies of fuel and food topped up otherwise you’ll be stranded for good or die from starvation. Your time on each ship is limited due to the small supply of oxygen (usually less than ten minutes) granted so you have to be fast and you have to be precise.
The only real downside, other than the aforementioned repetition, is the humour. The game sadly isn’t as funny as it thinks it is. There’s an enemy called a ‘Janitor’ who walks around and when he hears you approaching he shouts, “Gary! Is that you?”. Smaller enemies called ‘Juves’ call you names such as twatface and dickwad in their nasal almost Mancunian accent. The AI on your spaceship tries desperately to ape the peerless deadpan narration of ‘Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’ with not great success. If you can get past this, you’ll find lots to enjoy. It’s a shame though because ‘Journey to the Savage Planet’, a similar game in structure and tone, is a lot funnier.
8 voids out of 10
11 comments on “‘Void Bastards’ – mini review”
Hmm. It doesn’t sound like this game lets you build things on a grid, like a city or a theme park or a hospital, so this game probably doesn’t have much to appeal to me.
You can build things with your hands but not on a grid. The spaceships that you fly to are pretty much on a map, which is a fancy grid. There’s something for everyone.
Excellent. OK. In that case I’m in. I look forward to bringing to this game the same excellent approach I had to Grand Theft Auto, in which I went for several stimulating walks around a park.
It’s times like these that make me remember that you were clearly born in the wrong century.
I was. I should have been born in the 21st century, the same as all the other gamer kids who are livestreaming all their Transport Tycoon Deluxe games on Twitch and Tiktokking their Rollercoaster Tycoon queue layouts.
Hang on… this is an actual game review. Are we doing that too now? Is this all part of Ian’s long nascent plan to get someone other than us three to care about our content?
I think it is, and if it means that those new people also happen to see the bobbins I post, then bring it on is what I say. Anyone who can persuade even a single other person to have a look at this shambles of a blog will be a hero in my eyes.
I was branching out into things more accustomed to things I know. If I review games that aren’t exclusively on Nintendo consoles then it means you have the chance to play them too, meaning I’m not a selfish prick lauding my free time over the both of you. I don’t give a shit about the audience, babe.
Oh right. In that case you are not a hero in my eyes. That’s just something you will have to learn to live with.
*looks himself sternly in the mirror and toughens his chin like a hero*
Yeah you will. You go get ’em, son. Remember, you’re a different kind of millionaire.