Testing…testing… 123Hello? Hello?
Can you hear me at the back? If you can, then we have successfully transferred over to the new magical computers.
Things do seem to be a lot faster around here so I can only assume that the computers were very pleased with the ceremony I conducted on Saturday evening.
I couldn’t get any of the magical computer banks shown in the first post, but by way of apology we now have a full room of these pumping things out instead.
I hope this is still worth £15.
Appeasing the magical computersRight, lets just get all the “Oh look Kev’s back” crap out of the way upfront… I haven’t been here. I know.
I’ve got a 3 month old boy, a tired (lunatic) wife and myself to look after. As I’m sure Ian can testify, this is hard work. Nobody gets enough sleep, everyone is cranky and there are very few spare minutes in a week let alone a day.
It’s lovely, wonderful and bloody hard work. Anyway…
This wonderful little commune of excellence we have going doesn’t happen for free. The magical computers that carry the bits, bytes and sandwiches of data backwards and forwards have to be periodically fed cash money else they get angry and stop.
The magical computers we have used for the last few years have gotten greedy, wanting more and more cash money whilst simultaneously getting fat and a bit slow. The ceremonial feeding is due very soon and I’d like to try moving to a new group of magical computers, which both eat less money and claim to be faster at carrying sandwiches.
I’m plan to appease the new computers with a feed so large it will last for 2 whole years, but to do so I need your helps.
If you want the Beans™ to continue, I’d like you (Chris and Ian) to agree to hand over £15 each so that the ceremony can be performed. I have appeased the current computers with a light snack which will see us through another month, but I’d like to get moving on this pretty sharpish. Let me know your thoughts…
Kevindo Menendez & Smoochies Inc.LEEDS, UK – Internationally renowned design genius, Kevindo Menendez has today, 16/3/16, finally taken the wraps off his new fashion collection for babies developed closely with much respected manufacturer of fancy goods, Smoochies Inc.
The new range, entitled “Baby Looks Good”, is expected to be available for retail distribution from the beginning of April. The range uses key elements from Menendez’s back catalog, such as the ‘CRAB’ and ‘PENGUIN’ motifs and the now legendary artwork commissioned by PouringBeans for their website.
I am very proud to have been a part of the development of this new range. I have always admired Kevindo’s artwork, I actually have several original pieces in my studio at home, and to be able to bring it to the masses in a range which is durable, absorbent and machine washable is greatly satisfying.
Ian McIver, Managing director of Smoochies Inc.
Huh? I just doodled a crab and this bloke brought me some things with it on. Everyone seems really excited by it so I guess it must be good.
Kevindo Menendez, Design Genius
Retaillers or distributors interested in stocking the range should contact Smoochies Inc Directly via the usual channels, quoting ref: S3LL-M3-CR4BS
A Sensual Awakening: Two Word ReviewsEverything gets reviewed these days, from mobile phones to toilet cleaners, so it seems only fair that The Papples latest body of work should be included.
Sarah and I sat down this fine evening to give ‘A Sensual Awakening’ a good going over, and decided that rather than use lots of words to accurately convey how we felt about each song, we’d do a two word review.
From Us.
To You.
Picture comments!Elena asked recently… “Can I html an image into this comment box?” The answer then was no.
The answer now is still no, but I have added a funky new picture comment tool deeley to the site, which might come in handy.
HAPPY CHRISTMAS!
(Don’t say I never get you anything!)
P.S. I got a motherloving bean, motherlovers!
Beans Christmas Raffle!Hi all, welcome, welcome. It’s that time, not that time again because we haven’t done it before, but that time! Time for the Beans Christmas Raffle!
And boy do we have a doozy of a 1st Prize for you… One lucky winner will* win Chelmsford!
That’s right, the City of Chelmsford is the county town of Essex. It is located in the London commuter belt, and is just 32 miles north east of Charing Cross, and, get this, only 22 miles from Colchester! Once you win this fabulous new city, you will be in charge of a population of approximately 110,000! Think of what you could do with that.
Second prize will* be a Yardley Tac Set from Boots.
Third Prize is** a tin of Pinapple chunks!
Ooooooooooooh! Exciting isn’t it. 10 Tickets are yours for only £10.10 send you money now to:
Beans Christmas Raffle
Pouring Beans Estate
The Internet
PC1 1PC
* won’t
** isn’t
The Majestic Bird Goose
Some say that the name Bird Goose is one descriptive word too many. Some may be right, but the majestic Bird Goose cares not for those people. In fact he poops in their garden and then struts away (seen above).
Bird Goose is an excellent strutter and can often be found swaggering, striding or prancing in a pond near you (not seen above).
Bird Goose often wears incredibly fancy shawls (not seen above).
Bird Goose.
Bird.
Goose.
Dear Beans… My Sink ShamblesDear Beans,
I have a problem I need your assistance with.
Recently I went through a series of unfortunate circumstances in my bathroom (wa-hey (what?!)) which warranted a few posts, an award-winning film starring Robert Downey Jr and a nationwide book tour which culminated in worldwide fame and acclaim. Since then, well, I have tried to duplicate the dizzy heights of ‘Tap Saga’ but no matter what I do it’s just not the same.
I mean how can you replicate the thrill of smashing a sink with your own bare hands then spending months trying to find a replacement only for it to turn up smashed courtesy of Parcelforce? How can you hope to rustle up the same raw emotion as super gluing yourself to a sink for good merit? What kind of activity can deliver wanton exasperation on the same level as countless trips to B & Q because I had forgotten to purchase the correct pipes?
It’s a pointless exercise. During the day I find myself drawn towards the idea of breaking someone else’s bathroom suite. When I walk into the toilets at work I have to stop myself from smashing the carefully crafted porcelain shapes and bowls with a makeshift claw hammer, put together using (I don’t know, what do IT people use to make stuff, ummm, microchips, yeah, that’s believable, nifty!) microchips and circuit boards. Even now writing this letter I’m developing a cold sweat knowing the wash basin next door is fully-functional yet all it would take is one swift kick to the ajax and it would come tumbling down.
Please offer your advice in a thrilling manner.
Kind Regards
Kevin “Kevindo Menendez” Hill