There’s a serious problem that we have all been completely failing to address, and it’s been going on for too long now. I have decided to fix it. The arrangement of bank holidays across the year is inconsistent, unfair and stupid.
Just look at this chart showing where all the bank holidays fell in 2020. What a mess.
Just spacing them out evenly wouldn’t bring an end to this madness, because there’s only seven of them. That would mean a wait of 52 days between free days off work, a barely acceptable waiting time.
The solution is obvious. More bank holidays, sprinkled evenly throughout the year, so we get one about every two weeks. That’s a massive win. Here’s my suggested list.
- New Year’s Day
- Blue Monday
- Pancake Day
- Box Set Thursday
- Spring Cleaning Day
- St Patrick’s Heavy Drinking Day
- Good Friday
- Easter Monday
- First T-Shirt Day of the Year
- Eurovision Day
- The Other May Bank Holiday
- Boxing Day (relocated)
- Wimbledon Finals Day
- Beer Garden Friday
- Barbecue Day
- Holiday Packing Day
- Summer Bank Holiday
- DFS Sale Day
- Steak Pie and Mash Day
- Winter Coat Day
- Wellies and Leaf Crunching Day
- Bonfire Night
- Pyjama Wednesday
- Christmas Shopping Day
- Christmas Day
- New Year’s Eve
This results in a much better spread of bank holidays through the year, as shown below.
Please consider this the start of my campaign to enshrine these new bank holidays in law, and also the start of my campaign to be Prime Minister. Thank you.