Before the time comes when I have to (metaphorically) throw all of my interests into the loft because of the upcoming childingtons, you won’t be too surprised to note that I have been playing video games.
A lot of video games. I have been pursuing a life of video games because what else would you do in your early forties? Build a shop? Eat some yeast and submit a two star review as it, “wasn’t what you expected it to be”? Complain about the diversity of umbrellas? Take up yodelling? I don’t want to do any of that.
What I want is to live out my dreams of being a detective. I want to solve crimes and make a name for myself without leaving the sofa. Thankfully, there are now a multitude of games that allow you to do that. I chose ‘Frog Detective’ because I had heard it was funny and it was short.
You play as the titular Frog Detective, the second best detective in the land, second best to Lobster Cop. He’s a very busy boy and currently at the top so you’re doing your best to keep up. What follows is three very short vignettes where you “solve” three very short crimes. The reason that important word is in inverted commas is because there’s not really a lot to solve.
The game is played in first person. When you speak to other characters in the game, the camera zooms back to a third person perspective. You get given the case when the supervisor, travel to where you need to and start interviewing everyone. It’s not a game to be taken seriously in the slightest. You’re not a hard-boiled gumshoe here, you’re a happy-go-lucky frog with a magnifying glass. All you need to do is keep talking to people to find out what they want and then go get the item they need. It’s more of a fun fetch quest simulator than anything else.
Luckily, the quality of the writing is what saves the game from being forgettable shovelware. Everyone is a weirdo. You get an intro which shows you all the characters you’ll be meeting when you start the episode. You’ll meet a sloth who is convinced his island is haunted by ghosts, an invisible wizard whose celebrations have been wrecked by an unknown menace and a supposedly sheriff-less town that’s hiding a terrible secret. Every character has an unusual quirk which results in conversations that go places you’re not expecting. At one point I had to find out which kind of dancing a monkey preferred so I could tell the person that fancied her this important fact so they could impress her at a contest. I found an (I think) antelope floating in a hot tub who demanded some food and when I tried to give him the pie I found on the floor he insisted on having a fresh one. When you write it down it sounds like nonsense, and also when it plays out in front of you it’s also complete nonsense.
You can finish all three episodes in under two and a half hours. At the end there’s a secret sneaky bonus game that you unlock which is fun for a while. It’s a very simple game at heart; you won’t find any mind-bending puzzles from the likes of ‘Broken Sword’, ‘Monkey Island’ or ‘Grim Fandango’ here (I know I made the same point in my ‘Lord Winklebottom Investigates’ review but they’re the most recent point-and-click games I’ve played).
If you see it on sale then I would thoroughly recommend it because it’s very silly and guaranteed to make you laugh.
