PSA – don’t eat the oreos

Everyone loves delicious oreos.

Mmmm, right? Nobody can resist the tasty taste of oreos because there’s something for everyone. Love biscuit? Got you. Love squishy things in the middle of biscuits? You’re covered. Love ripping things in half to feel superior over something for once when you’re trapped in a horrific existence where you’re in control of nothing? Also this!

There are, however, flavours of oreos that should not exist and this is one of them:

Whatever you do, don’t eat the ice cream flavour oreos.

I found these being sold for cheap and my curiosity got the better of me. They look okay, let’s give these a go, I thought. I was so very, very wrong.

When you first put one in your mouth everything seems okay, nothing out of place here. It’s the aftertaste that really kills the entire experience. The closest thing I can compare it to is it’s as though you’ve swallowed a blueberry vape. Someone turned the vape juice into a solid and stuck it in an oreo.

It’s disgusting. You have been warned.

Death of Quirky

It had to happen sooner or later.

Here I am, sleep- deprived, lumbering around like a zombie. The heat isn’t making it any better, neither is having to be up most hours trying to make a baby go back to sleep. I have bruises up and down my legs and arms from accidentally bashing into things. My spacial awareness is at an all time low.

I remember opening up the cupboard door and watching in slow motion as the glass that hadn’t been put back properly left the safety of the shelf and collided with the kitchen floor.

I had been using it almost every day since we got them back for Old Man Kevvers 40th birthday. It’s the perfect size for refreshing juice on a hot day.

No more pint glass for me.

At least I have the memories. Does anyone want to watch me walk into the pub?

YouTube Promo 2

Hey guys, Face Uncle back to rock your world.

There was a pretty heated debate in the Discord channel about a week or so ago. I love it when you get passionate about things, guys, and I support everything you say 100%.

It inspired me to get productive.

Here’s a little teaser for my new video coming to you LIVE and FRESH at 4.00pm on Friday. Every Friday.

I dared myself to eat as much cornflakes as possible. It was pretty insane, guys, because you never know what’s gonna happen next! I hope you’ll turn up to find out.

Don’t forget to like, comment and subscribe!

Am I losing my mind?

There I was, aimlessly looking at my Facebook account.

Do you remember how much you faffed about with Facebook when you first got it? Adding in all your likes, favourite bands and films, trying to find people you used to go to school with and sending them a friend request. Poking, apparently, still exists. You can still poke people even now and a lot of people I know are still poking each other (waaaaaay!) so that’s good to know. It was all pretty pointless.

I still get notifications of memories of things and a lot of them are random statuses I typed trying to be funny and failing miserably. Sometimes they’re photos of Reuben or silly things he said as a tiny baby orb. Today was slightly different.

I was linked to something I’d written circa 2008. A short script for something called ‘Cockitt and Pullit’. This was episode two so I must have been on a roll. I glanced briefly at the script before my current orb needed something and I had to switch it off, and made a note in my head to come back later on for a proper read.

I tried to look it up now and it’s gone. The memories have moved onto something else. I sifted through all the various (mostly pointless) pages trying to find where it could be hiding. I’m convinced there used to be a kind of notebook where you could write and store things. Wherever that is hiding must have my scripts for whatever this Cockitt and Pullit thing.

It was a cop drama, probably stupid as we all know the kind of humour 2008 Ian was packing. I’d completely forgotten I’d written them and for now they remain unseen by my judgemental eyes. I’m sure they’re not worth the paper they’re written on, yet if they’re part of my legacy I want them back for future generations to, well, to have.

Except… it’s not mine. If you Google it apparently it was Chris Moyles’ idea, which makes me even more confused. There are references to it in his blog from around the same time. Now I feel like I’m completely losing my mind and I made the whole thing up.

Sometimes remembering isn’t fun.

Further culture in the workplace

You might recall that, in years gone by, I made attempts to introduce a little high-minded art to the banal surroundings of a toilet at work, first with a renaissance masterpiece and then with something a little more abstract. More recently, an unknown colleague of mine got in on the act with an artwork of a different kind.

Well, once again the joyless drudges from facilities management have noticed something amiss and taken action. There can be no pleasure and no enjoyment. The A5 picture frame in the men’s toilet is not there to hold a picture, it is there to be empty, and so they have emptied it.

Not to worry. I don’t give up that easily. We have been through realism, abstract art and pop culture. I decided it’s time for the postmodern. Time for meta-art.

I present to you my masterpiece.

This, I think, has two really great positives.

It makes a bold statement about the banality of a world where the corporate system can only tolerate the existence of a picture frame if it is empty, and asks, in the cultural desert of the workplace, is the frame itself the only art that can be permitted?
It is the same colour as everything around it so they might not notice it for a long time.

Once again, the game is afoot. Let’s see how long this one lasts.

YouTube promo

Hey guys, Face Uncle back to rock your world.

I’ve been trying out some new things on my channel, based on comments and questions from YOU in the discord. They’re some pretty wild ideas and I’m all for it.

Here’s a little teaser for my upcoming video, which will be uploaded at the usual time of 4.00pm on Friday. Every Friday.

I’ve really gone through the looking glass here, guys, and I’m hoping you’ll join me for the ride.

There’ll also be some YouTube shorts showing all my usual outtakes and there are TONS so be sure to keep an eye out for these.

Don’t forget to like, comment and subscribe!

On this day

As the year draws to a close, your Pouring Beans Calendar 2025 is running out of pages. Luckily another one is on the way, and everybody should have their copy ready for the New Year.

This is going to be the sixth consecutive year I’ve had to find just over 310 things that we have said, done, drawn or written to fill the pages of a calendar, meaning I’ve had to find 1565 things already. In my quest for content I thought I would try something new. So in 2026, you can expect a lot of the pages to reference things that have happened on that specific day in the past.

The “on this day” thing proved to be a great way of coming up with things to fill a calendar, but to make it happen I needed to find out what has happened on each day of the year. Obviously I could find old photos and look at the day and time they were taken, which got me a few. But I needed something bigger. I needed nostalgia on an industrial scale. I needed an “on this day” machine.

So I made one, and now you can play with it as well if you like. It’s in a secret location on the Beans server here.

Give it a day of the year and it will find everything that has ever happened on the Beans that day. Every post, every comment, from both New Beans and Old. It will then list them all with the year they happened, from most recent at the top to most elderly at the bottom, and it will give you links to see them in their original homes.

It was just meant to be a means to fill a calendar, but I found it hugely enjoyable and thought you might like to play with it too, so there you are. Enjoy.

Jolly good: free rubber rings for all

Not to brag, but we’ve got one of those kitchen taps where you can pull the end of it and it extends out like a hose. It’s pretty good.

Recently the hose bit stopped going back in to the tap nicely, and that was because a little rubber ring that made it seal snugly in place had broken.

I did some searching online. No combination of words referring to a “washer” would produce results, nor did my searches for any kind of “grommet”. No, it turns out this wasn’t rubber or even silicone, nor was it a washer, grommet, seal or band. The thing I needed was a nitrile O-ring.

Amazon sell them for a couple of quid, so I placed my order. Here is the thing I needed. I fitted it to the tap and the tap works nicely again now.

The only issue is that Amazon won’t sell you one of them. It will only sell you a pack of 50. So I now have another 49 going spare. Assuming these things fail at the same rate as the original, this will keep my tap in full working order through to December 2175.

As a result I feel safe in letting go of a few spares if it will help my fellow man. They have an external diameter of 20mm, an internal diameter of 16mm and the band is 2mm thick with a circular cross section. Let me know if you’d like one.