You want a little treat in the afternoon. Something to give you a bit of a sugar rush to propel you through the rest of the working day. Something to dunk in your tea.
A biscuit would be nice. But a biscuit is missing that special something. What would be better?
I know. What if it was creamy. A creamy cookie. Well, don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.
Help yourself and dive in to the creamiest cookies you’ve ever known. How can a liquid be so crunchy? We don’t know. We just know that they’re so, so creamy.
There was a pretty heated debate in the Discord channel about a week or so ago. I love it when you get passionate about things, guys, and I support everything you say 100%.
It inspired me to get productive.
Here’s a little teaser for my new video coming to you LIVE and FRESH at 4.00pm on Friday. Every Friday.
I dared myself to eat as much cornflakes as possible. It was pretty insane, guys, because you never know what’s gonna happen next! I hope you’ll turn up to find out.
It’s the year 2034. The future is finally here. All those exciting opportunities you’ve been waiting for are finally at your fingertips.
You’ve decided that now is the time to open that restaurant of your own you’ve been dreaming of. Years of working in menial jobs for awful bosses. You’ve saved some money, not enough to buy a business but for a deposit to convince the bank to loan you the rest to get you started.
You scout out a great location in and up and coming area. Plenty of footfall to ensure a healthy turn out in that first shaky year or two. Once the word gets out though you know you’ll have to turn people away, you’ll be that popular. You’ve got a killer menu lined up, stuff that people have never considered before, and you’ve also got the talent to back it up.
Everything is in place. Now, all you need is a memorable name to seal the deal in a wigwam.
I’ve been trying out some new things on my channel, based on comments and questions from YOU in the discord. They’re some pretty wild ideas and I’m all for it.
Here’s a little teaser for my upcoming video, which will be uploaded at the usual time of 4.00pm on Friday. Every Friday.
I’ve really gone through the looking glass here, guys, and I’m hoping you’ll join me for the ride.
There’ll also be some YouTube shorts showing all my usual outtakes and there are TONS so be sure to keep an eye out for these.
Whatcha doing with that dog? Are you bothering it? Is it that awesome that you can’t help but bother it and want to spend time with it? If that’s true, then you need to join the ‘Dog Botherers’.
You shouldn’t feel ashamed about your behaviour. There are thousands of awesome dogs out there. They’re sat with their owners out in real life which is great but sometimes you can’t bother them because they’re doing their own thing. That’s upsetting.
At ‘Dog Botherers’, we don’t mind if you bother our dogs. Our weekly meetings are designed for people like you to bother dogs in a safe and friendly environment. Come meet like-minded individuals over a hot cup of friendship and a generous plate of fun biscuits.
If you like dogs, bothering your dogs and bothering other people’s dogs then ‘Dog Botherers’ is the place for you.
I know you’re all excited for next week and I could hardly contain myself so I’m writing the post early. Wilmot’s week is dedicated to the adoration, worship and general appreciation of the great Gary Wilmot. It’s a chance to really kick back and enjoy yourself and all of the joy that Wilmot has brought to the world. The best part is that it happens completely at random meaning you have to stay alert (and download the app) to ensure you don’t miss out on any of the celebrations. Sure, it’s next week yet it could also be the week after that, the start of next month or around your birthday. Wilmot’s week takes no prisoners. It’s completely unhinged.
Recently I have been pondering what wor Gaz could do next with his startling career. He’s already an accomplished singer, presenter, actor and entertainer; what’s left? Open a restaurant, one themed around terracotta jug western hoedowns or rats that look like footballers? No, that would be silly. We need something sleek and modern. We need a Gary Wilmot video game.
It can’t be something cheap like a mobile game. It has to go all the way, multi platform and nothing but the best. I want to see Ps5. I want full scale Steam trailers showing all the exquisite gameplay on offer.
I was hoping it’d be a disgustingly violent first person shooter however i was told by his manager that this wasn’t the kind of image they were hoping to portray to the general public. We’ll therefore keep it nice and cosy, set it in a warehouse and have Gary as some kind of, I don’t know, eccentric warehouse manager. He can have a tea cosy on his head instead of a hat. Then when you finish the level he’ll tip his head to one side, whistle and say, “It’s time for a brew!” That’ll make all the grandma’s chuckle with delight.
To make it as accessible as possible it should be a puzzle game. Everyone loves puzzle games, right? The same as everyone loves detective TV programmes set on boats featuring washed-up pop stars? So wor Gaz has to help you sort out items in a warehouse. We’ll get a custom made soundtrack from the Papples and soon we’ll be hoovering up the awards.
It will take some doing, the hours will be long and arduous but stick with me and we’ll really make a difference. Now all that’s left to do is a quick check to make sure nobody else has…
Years ago I used to sometimes get the train home from Blackfriars station. This was around the time they were just starting the process of completely rebuilding it, and one of the first things they did was take the light-up advertising poster frames off the walls. Behind them were lots of paper posters, presumably the last ones to be put up before the frames went in. They all seemed to date from the late 1980s.
There was all sorts of old advertising on display, some older than others, but this one caught my eye. It’s for an event called Wang Four Stars.
Yes, charity was the winner back in June 1988 at this event hosted by Jimmy Tarbuck and Terry Wogan, and sponsored by, er, Wang.
Presumably large numbers of people were expected to make the journey to Moor Park to watch celebrities play a round of golf. Maybe there wasn’t much to do in 1988. Other big names teeing off for a good cause included Cliff Thorburn, Sean Connery, Kevin Keegan, Russ Abbot and Shakin’ Stevens.
The poster is at pains to point out that there will be professional golfers, leading “personalities” and excellent catering facilities.
And, as it also makes clear, it’s all thanks to Wang.
Hi, Kevin here from Plunge Networks. Following our recent buyout of Skype, we’ve thought for literally minutes about what to do with the former biggest brand in consumer digital communications, and you know what we thought? That’s right, yoghurt!
Introducing Plunge Digital Yoghurt: the next evolution in snack technology. Upgrade your taste buds. Upgrade your lunch. Plunge Digital Yoghurt, where flavour meets innovation! Launching soon in two great flavours, combining everything you’ve come to know and love about Plunge Communications Networks Inc.
Fruity Mango: A smooth, tropical connection to your inner island. Enjoy a burst of tropical delight with every spoonful. Real mango bits, swirled into creamy, futuristic perfection.
Spicy WiFi: It’s tangy. It’s zesty. It pings your senses. This yoghurt packs a kick as electrifying as your internet connection. Can you handle the heat?
Whether you’re buffering between meetings or uploading flavour to your lunch break, Plunge Digital Yoghurt keeps you connected… deliciously.
