It would appear as though modes of transport feature prominently in Big Frank’s corporate takeover of everything. And why shouldn’t it? Without transportation the world would be a shuffling mass of high-waisted, thick legged, wind-encrusted bipedal animals. One cannot take lightly the invention of the steamroller, the tractor, the ice cream or hot dog cart and the penny farthing. I could not get from ‘A’ to ‘B’ and maybe sidle over to ‘E’ when I’m feeling funky unless I had my trusty one of them mentioned above.

And so we move on from my common ramblings to the business at hand:

Big Frank’s Outdoors

It would appear as though Frank is trying to reprimand the whole of the outside world, and what a feat that would be if he was successful. As well as this though his business, located in the shady realm of Maryville, Tennessee, does a broad deal in boats, boards and cycling equipment.

The blurb says that, “after enjoying a successfully 17 year career in sales with two national corporations, he decided it was time to follow his passion. His love of adventure and the great outdoors was calling and it was time to answer.  Frank started Big Frank’s Outdoors with the hopes of combining his business knowledge and his favourite hobbies biking, boarding, and boating.” This is clearly our Big Frank.

One of my first meetings with him was when I went round to see Chris. Big Frank was balanced on a boat, floating in the back garden, trying to pop a wheelie on a mountain bike. It was the most incredible thing I had seen that morning and a memory that will stay with me long after the curtains have closed on my sorry a*s. He does love his bike-balancing escapades.

I only wish his “Outdoors” was close enough for me to visit and share the love. It wouldn’t be global domination though if all his conquests were on my doorstep. In fact it would be fairly narrow-sighted and just a little big lacking if I walked outside of work to see Big Frank’s face across the road. No, it is obvious that in order to continue his empire he must spread like a soft cheese around the world.

I look forward to where he lands next.

So what do you do in your free time? Do you play the piano or drop pianos on old ladies for fun? Do you read magazines or use magazines to funnel small rodents into old people’s homes?

If you do, then you should be judged for appalling behaviour. That is not on and I will be using a magazine or an old person to tap you on the nose for good measure.

What I like to do in my free time is to learn about the numerous business ventures that Chris’ dad, Big Frank, has delved into during his retirement. Given that he already has a full-time family to run, including two not very small buckets of chiles, you would think that this would monopolise all of his time. Not so. My investigations have first led me to Coventry where Big Frank runs a cycle hire facility. It is a little unusual that there is no official website for this but I can confirm that they operate at two country parks, Kingsbury Water Park and Ryton Pools County Park, and open at 10:00am at weekends.

Kingsbury Water Park is 600 acres in size with many paths for traffic free cycling. If you want to go further, you can join the Fazeley to Birmingham canal or try the North Warwickshire Cycle way.

Ryton Pools Country Park is situated some 30 miles from Birmingham between Leamington Spa and Ryton-on-Dunsmore. Its smaller than KWP but it does have the start and finish of a lovely 16 mile cross-country run. With gravel paths, the park is perfect for KMX karting.

This information was not at all lifted from another website.

Whilst I am very thankful for his efforts in hiring out cycles to families in the West Midlands area, I am concerned about the exposure and think that with a little nudge he should venture forth with a website to promote the business more.

The sky’s the limit when it comes to Big Frank.