I recently learned that I have been inadvertently spoiling all Kev’s plans to post things to the Beans because every time he has an idea he logs on to the website and finds that I’ve already done it.
It started not so long ago with the slippers, and then I hit him with a double whammy of tyre trouble that took the wind right out of his tyres.
I’ve decided that the best thing to do is to try and expand on this promising new hobby, so in this blog post I am going to try and anticipate some of the things Kev might want to write blog posts about in the near future and get there before him.
Very large worktops
There. I think those three things pretty much cover all bases.
He’s perched on a lamp post on Llandudno pier, gazing out to sea. Down below, fat tourists wander around with sticky donuts and runny ice cream, but from his vantage point, the sound of waddling morons dies away. He hears the wind whipping at his sleek feathers and the call of the other gulls circling above. He sees the sun glimmering from the rolling peaks of the slate grey Irish Sea. He is deep in existential contemplation.
The question is, what is he contemplating?
That important question is not just about probing the philosophical leanings of a Welsh sea bird. It’s also your route to a big, big prize, which may or may not be fish-based.
If you think you know the answer, and you’d like to be in with a chance of winning the Luxury Mystery Prize that might have been selected by a seagull, then leave your answer, answers or both in the comments below.
When you’re walking around a shop there is a fair amount of pressure. You, as a consumer, need to spend your money otherwise the shop won’t be there anymore. So what will you buy? What wonders would you prefer to spend your hard-earned cash on?
For instance, would you like to buy this?
Now I am all for knick knacks and tat yet I am confused and perturbed as to what this owl wants. Clearly it wants to cook but it can’t spell ‘cook’ so it looks like it is asking for ‘cok’. So is this an owl with poor spelling and grammar? Was it the result of bad education?
Unless its eyes are the o’s but then there’d be three so the item’s message is ‘coook’ which is the kind of enthusiasm I can fully understand. But then why a spoon and a fork? Why is the owl trying to eat a fish when owls don’t eat fish?
I stared for a good five minutes at this the other day and I am still no further forward. Perhaps somebody else might be able to solve the mystery.
He sits in his hiding place. He is brightly coloured, vivid even, and yet difficult to see.
You walk up the street. It’s a nice day, there’s nobody around. And then – when it’s already too late – you see him. Dark eyes stare you down. He has been watching you. Judging you. You feel guilty, but no apology will be enough.
Current trends in the world of wildlife are all over the gossip pages of the newspapers these days. The pandas taking selfies, the rhino that hosted the Grammy awards and the arctic foxes wearing Naomi Campbell’s skin as a luxurious wrap are all well known.
But what about the less famous creatures of the world? What are they doing? It turns out that many woodland creatures are developing a taste for human food. Italian is popular with many species, with dormice in some parts of England now surviving entirely on conchiglie al forno, tiramisu and Chianti.
And if you don’t believe me, here’s an owl in a Leeds branch of Costa Coffee.
Anyone can write an article about “10 Things You Didn’t Know About Owls”, in fact you’re probably bored stiff of reading them they’re so common these days. You can hardly visit your favourite corner of the web without having five different variations of “10 Things You Didn’t Know About Owls” rammed down your vision pipes, well not here…
Here on PouringBeans™ we like to do things differently. This is no ordinary “10 Things You Didn’t Know About Owls” article, this one is special, this one is “Things You Didn’t Know About 10 Owls”!!!