Category: Sexy

Avatar Episode 1: Your Mum loves a sexy pony

This right here, is a world exclusive. I know technically (and actually) all of our posts are world exclusives, but some of them just feel more worthy of the title than others, that’s all I’m saying. And what I’m saying is that this is one of them.

So. Right then. Here it is. In a first for Pouring Beans Productions, here is your very first actual Pouring Beans Podcast.

It doesn’t really have a name as such, except that this one is the first one and features the phrase, “Your Mum loves a sexy pony”. So i guess its called Episode 1: Your Mum loves a sexy pony.

EDIT: You can now subscribe to all of the wonderfulness in iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/pouringbeans/id1202597817

 

 

Avatar Romance Lives On

Let nobody ever accuse my family of being the beautiful budding bouquet of romantics that we clearly are.

For proof you need look no further than the words in my mouth. They’re right there and you can look at them whenever you like. For further proof, however, take a look at the smooch-tastic read below:

collage-2016-09-18-17_38_37

It contains as much passion as seven passion fruits which as any passion fruit enthusiast will tell you is a lot of passion. It’s brimming with bosoms. It’s erupting with enchantment. It’s arresting with amour.

Yes, the surname may be a slightly different spelling but you can tell whom the inspiration was, regarding of what the English language says. I only hope that they’ve got enough copies to satisfy the general public’s thirst for my scintillating life.

Avatar Newsboost – Showbiz Rumor Mill

Over in that there showbiz land, rumors are floating about that Legendary music producer Nizzle has been in pre-production meetings with none other than PB’s own Smidge Manly.

Nobody is really sure what the secret project could turn out to be, but the pair collaborating on an album would seem to be the likely outcome.

Showbiz land reporting scumbag Barney Gristle, recently found a discarded USB stick when he tripped and fell gloved hands first into Nizzle’s trash can. He claims contains early drafts of the pairs’ work. Newsboost has a secured a world wide exclusive reveal of a clip, right here:

I think we can all agree that this is truly exciting news.

Avatar Lukewarm Toothpaste

Winter hits the roofs of many,
Like death would touch the life of Kenny.
There’s nothing to revive the heat,
A fanciful, audible, minty treat.
That is, or was, or should have been
Until now. I have foreseen
The future, oh it blinds my gaze,
This thing will astound and amaze.
You need to see this, you need to taste
The power of lukewarm toothpaste.

It cuddles and caresses your gums,
Whether on brushes or on thumbs.
It’s stroking all your sexy edges,
On the streets and behind hedges.
It nestles and nuzzles and frequents
Those areas food just cann’t dent.
It’s watching you as you try to sleep,
So it can heat where you can’t creep.

You may be scared but hear my words,
They stick to you like lemon curds,
It would be such a dreadful waste
To not adore lukewarm toothpaste.

Avatar Ffffifth

Back in spring of this year, the music press were full of excitable rumours about a new supergroup being formed by The Papples and elusive pop star Kevil, with Nizzle said to be on board to produce their debut EP.

Naturally, we all assumed that nothing those three renowned artists did could fail to succeed, but their project remains firmly under wraps and no release date has been scheduled. Perhaps we’ll never know what they came up with.

What has come to light, though, is this interview, in which band members K-Zone and Chef Shizzle reveal some of the details of this ill-fated endeavour.