Half way through 2021It’s been doing its best to match the appalling failure that was 2020, but we’re not letting it. No, 2021 will be the year things got better, not the year things got worse.
Still – it’s been a bit of a slog so far. Now, to celebrate the fact that half of it has gone and the other half is probably going to be a bit more enjoyable than the first one was, let’s all sit down and have a slice of cake.
How doo dey doo dat?It’s incredible, isn’t it? How does he manage to write four different pieces of something every single month? Each time it’s something fresh and interesting, like a butterfly made of marzipan. He’s clearly some kind of journalistic genius and the world is better off for having him.
All of those things about me are completely correct but don’t be fooled, writing is a serious game and one that takes a lot of effort. You think I’m pulling off (wa-hey!) and pulling out (WA-HEY!) these ideas from thin air like they were biscuits on a plate? You don’t think they take their toil on this mortal body? For sure back in the day I was tossing out so many posts that the Big Men had to put a cap on it to keep me at four whereas these days it’s a complicated and messy process.
Let me walk you through an average month:
1st – thank god a new month, thirty odd days with which to play with.
2nd – I should get organised and write one now but there’s still plenty of time left.
3rd – ooo look, Chris has posted something.
4th – there’s probably a weekend coming up so I’ll post something next week.
7th – that was a crap weekend, oh dear, best knock out some nonsense for the website.
8th – ah, another podcast. Let me type my ‘I’ll listen to it tonight’ comment and get back to doing nothing.
9th – I love corn because it goes with everything.
10th – if I run fast enough could I burst through a brick wall?
11th – nobody else remembers ‘Ovide’ the cartoon and that makes me sad.
12th – ooo look, Chris has posted something.
21st – blimey where did the last 9 days go? I’ve not done anything yet. Find a photo, ooo look it’s funny. First post done.
22nd – scan through previous month’s posts and ride the back of something else someone else wrote.
23rd – two in the can, it’s plain sailing now. Time to knock out a ‘Newsboost’ or something tragic that happened to me. Ha ha, hilarious.
24th – ooo look, Chris has posted something.
25th – is Kev going to reach his quota this month? Could that be the basis of one of my posts? Keep it as a back-up for dire times.
26th – DIRE TIMES ARE NOW! Post that mother.
27th – damn, Kev posted again. My post is superfluous. I’m no good at this anymore, even though young me was an arsehole he was so good at doing this.
28th – here’s a random thought, ‘if cakes were alive, would they try to eat themselves?’ Good enough.
29th – sod it, another photo will have to do.
30th – ooo look, Chris has posted something.
So as you can see, it’s not easy doing this month in and also month out. For all those secret readers out there who don’t make their presences known, you are most definitely welcome.
Ruining Kev’s future postsI recently learned that I have been inadvertently spoiling all Kev’s plans to post things to the Beans because every time he has an idea he logs on to the website and finds that I’ve already done it.
It started not so long ago with the slippers, and then I hit him with a double whammy of tyre trouble that took the wind right out of his tyres.
I’ve decided that the best thing to do is to try and expand on this promising new hobby, so in this blog post I am going to try and anticipate some of the things Kev might want to write blog posts about in the near future and get there before him.
There. I think those three things pretty much cover all bases.
HouseThere will, I expect, be more posts from me on this subject in the near future, because it has become a very large part of my life. But for now, it is probably enough to say that getting yourself a house is an enormous process that takes up a lot of your time and energy, and has far reaching consequences for the whole of your life. It is difficult and tiring.
On the other hand, though, it’s one of the best things ever, and it has made us this happy.
Normal service will resume in February. In the meantime, if you need me, I’ll be trying to find something in a box that is under three other boxes at the back of a room full of boxes.
Christmas wrap-up 2020Another year is over, Christmas has ended, and all that remains is to sweep up a large quantity of pine needles from the carpet, move an item of furniture over the conspicuous mulled wine stain in the middle of the living room, and plant a boot firmly in the arse of 2020 to make sure it departs on time and never returns.
What’s left, now the stocking has been emptied, the wrapping paper is off and the dust has settled? Let’s have a look.
Well done everyone. Now let’s buckle up for 2021. It can only be better than 2020.
Quick post made to earn a beanEverything is chaos.
Everywhere is dusty.
Nothing is finished.
None of it is entertaining.
(Not even tap-saga-esque).
I tried to come up with something fun but I failed.
Instead I’m going to recommend that you both go watch Aunty Donna’s Big Ol’ House of Fun on Netflix. Its the most I’ve laughed in ages and its fucking brilliant.
A Breath of Fresh Beans: The hot deets.The three of us have a podcast, it has a massive regular listenership of probably 4 people, us and Madge. But what do the stats say? Lets dig in and get all the important info on the podcasts thats literally taking up space on the internet…
It seems that the most popular way people are enjoying the podcast is “Other”, with 5 listens in October, with the big hitters of ‘iTunes’, ‘Pocket Casts’ and ‘Overcast’ bringing up the rear. The ones that really stands out though are those people out there using all the modern tech to listen via ‘played in a new window’. Exciting stuff.
Well it appears that there are some classics in the line up that someone out there just cant get enough of. The run down of our “Top 10 Episodes of all time” reveals that our earlier (pre-Chris) episodes are the most popular, as are the last two ‘This way Ups’, which probably do feature Chris…
In other podcast news, I freshened up the feeds, with proper graphics and new names… names you say? Yes, because ‘This Way Up’ now has its own feed and graphic, at least on iTunes. You can find it be searching for… yes, you guessed it ‘This way up’. I know nobody will, and even we have already heard them all, but you know neatness and all that.
AnnouncementsEven with all this time, or well now that I’m back at work this time where I’m not out running rampant like I normally would pre-lockdown, I still seem to find myself in this position most months of being on the cusp of four posts and not quite being able to find the last one.
I had several ideas which will no doubt appear next month once I have had a chance to actually do some research or, at least, download the pictures so it’s not one massive block of text with me pointing at things that aren’t there. I suppose that could work though, slightly less absorbing than an empty space where a post should be.
I was even going to drum up some thrills for a new caption completion. Alas, by not going anywhere or doing anything there are no strange photos in my phone for me to pass off as my own efforts. So let me fill up this with a couple of shout outs:
If anyone else would like to announce anything please feel free to do so.